Have you ever considered how your parent's expectations, their own particular career choices and work attitudes, or your home environment affect your work-related decisions?

Some people think that once they become adults, they are no longer influenced by childhood experiences, especially when it comes to work and career. But, that's far from reality in many cases.

Take for example, a man I'll call Dean, who, in an attempt to win approval from his father, chose the same career field, only to find out he was a miserable in it. Rather than choosing what would suit him and his interests and skills, Dean chose what he thought would please his father and ended up unhappy and confused. Because of the complex emotional issues influencing Dean's career choice, he was not aware of what was at the heart of his confusion and dissatisfaction around his work.

Jane is sometimes fearful and anxious at work and finds that certain work situations or particular types of people trigger her anxiety. When triggered, Jane becomes “paralyzed” in her thinking and is unable to make significant contributions to her work.

Jane's childhood environment was chaotic and sometime violent. At work, when she found herself in situations that in some way remind her of her childhood environment, she reverted back to behaviors and feelings she adopted at an early age to keep herself safe and out of harm's way. While these behaviors may have been effective when she was young, they now resulted in less than satisfactory performance reviews from her supervisor.

Sally grew up with her siblings and parents, all of whom contributed to the family owned business. The enterprise was all consuming, and kept everyone busy seven days a week. Sally learned at an early age that you “live to work” and that working hard and being productive was the way to be. When Sally graduated from college, she chose not to stay in the family business, but none-the-less, found it impossible to create any type of work/life balance. Her boss had to insist that she take earned vacation and Sally was often at a loss about how to spend her non-work time. She was stressed from over work, but she did not recognize the connection between her family or origin conditioning and her current behavior.

These are a few examples of how family and childhood can influence current work behaviors and choices. If you have noticed a pattern in your work that keeps you from achieving your goals and desires, and you are not clear as to why, you could be influenced by your past.

If this is the case, you may benefit from some help in sorting this out. Your employer's Employee Assistance Program might be a good place to start.
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Upcoming events featuring or sponsored by Heart At Work

May 2,3,4 - Boomer Expo, Portland Sports Complex, Barbara will give a talk on Reinventing Yourself in the Second Half of Life.

May 8: HR Conventionn at the Samoset Resort in Rockport: Barbara and Amy Jaffe, will co-present a workshop: "Averting Quarterlife and Midlife Crises in Your Workplace: 5 Key Retention Strategies".

Ever since I read that business owners should spend at least 40 percent of their time on marketing, I've kept an eye out for interesting opportunities to promote my business.

For example, I signed up to be an exhibitor for three days at the first-ever "Women's Life Expo" in Portland this past weekend. I had no idea who or how many women would come, but since many of my clients are women, and the promoters had given me the opportunity to give a presentation each day, I decided to make the investment in time and money.

I kicked my design skills into high gear and created a "room in a booth", complete with a couch, hassocks, soft lighting and a gorgeous arrangement of French tulips. I stuffed hundreds of mesh bags with French lavender as the requisite "give away", and a memorable way to promote my annual women's retreat to Provence.

When Friday arrived, I moved into my booth and was excited to experience the world of Expo exhibitors. By day's end on Friday, having spent most of the time commiserating with vendors about the paltry number of visitors, I considered packing up and going home to reclaim my weekend.

But, I had made this commitment and decided to stick it out, hoping for a larger crowd on the weekend. While Saturday was more brisk with people coming and going, it was far from what I had hoped as far as attendance at my presentations and opportunities for conversation about Provence or career counseling services.

Since it was the first of its kind in Maine, I don't think there was any way I could have known in advance how effective the Women's Life Expo would be for me. But, perhaps I should have thought twice about committing myself to a second Expo without having experienced the first. The first ever "Boomer Expo" takes place May 2,3,4, and considering the burgeoning number of boomers and their interest in reinventing themselves, I'm hoping the experience will be rewarding for me and those who attend this Expo. How about visiting me there?

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Upcoming events featuring or sponsored by Heart At Work

April 12 Yarmouth Wellness Fair, 10-2pm Yarmouth High School

April 19-May 10: Saturday Career Workshop Series with Amy Jaffe
Details: http://www.barbarababkirk.com/amy.html

May 2,3,4 - Boomer Expo, Portland Sports Complex, Barbara will give a talk on Reinventing Yourself in the Second Half of Life.

May 8: HR Conventionn at the Samoset Resort in Rockport: Barbara and Amy Jaffe, will co-present a workshop: "Averting Quarterlife and Midlife Crises in Your Workplace: 5 Key Retention Strategies".

May 17 & 18: Your Second Half Of Life: A Unique Couples Retreat facilitated by Barbara and Doug Babkirk - Danforth Inn, Portland, ME

September 21-27: Barbara's annual Women's Retreat in Provence. Now accepting registrations.

Sabbatical: It's a perk that you can count on if you are a college professor, but it's a rare benefit for anyone else in today's marketplace. Yet, we all need such a break in our work lives to remind us of what is truly important and to renew our commitment to our work in the world.

While the traditional definition of sabbatical is "a prolonged hiatus, typically one year, in the career of an individual taken in order to fulfill some goal", it originates from the word, "Sabbath" meaning simply, a day of rest.

Adopting this more basic meaning, it is reasonable to imagine that everyone could take sabbaticals, and on a regular basis, to restore what author Wayne Muller refers to in his book, Sabbath, as "our right rhythm of work and rest."

Over the years, I've worked with hundreds of individuals and encouraged most of them to take time off as they contemplate their career transitions or consider new strategies in their businesses. Typically, my suggestions were first met with a fearful resistance that results from a life too full to consider new possibilities.

But, after the litany of reasons why time off is not possible, there is sometimes a small space left for an alternative viewpoint. Seeing this opening as a window of opportunity, I begin to gently make suggestions for simple ways to regain a balance and rhythm of life that would serve them well in their transition.

Think small steps, with big impact.
"You will find yourself again in the simple and forgotten things", these words of Carl Jung reinforce the notion that getting back to center does not require an elaborate or costly scheme, often equated with the word sabbatical. Jung's quote reminds us that we can reconnect with what is essential by taking actions that, in their simplicity, may be overlooked, dismissed or considered insignificant.

Here are a few ways you can incorporate the concept of sabbatical into your work and life. Be aware of taking breaths in and out while doing this exercise:

1. Find a few minutes of alone and quiet time to ask yourself what you need to feel renewed. Let your responses come from your heart or the center of your being, rather than from your mind.
2. Try not to edit your responses or begin to problem-solve as to how you can or cannot make this happen in your life at this time.
3. Identify what is at the core of your response (e.g. is it about physical rest, quiet time, or connection with someone important to you?).
4. Come up with one step you could take within one week to address this core need and put it on your calendar as you would another important commitment.
5. Over the next year, try to extend the periods of time you allocate for this type of exercise.
6. Consider planning a vacation around your needs, asking the question: what type of vacation and what activities (or absence of) would help me feel renewed and recommitted to my life and work?

"There is more to life than merely increasing its speed." – Gandhi
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Upcoming events featuring or sponsored by Heart At Work

April 4,5,6: Women's Life Expo, Portland. Barbara presents once each day: Live Your Life, Love Your Work...At Any Age.

May 8: HR Convention at the Samoset Resort in Rockport: Barbara and Amy Jaffe, will co-present a workshop: "Averting Quarterlife and Midlife Crises in Your Workplace: 5 Key Retention Strategies".

May 17 & 18: Your Second Half Of Life: A Unique Couples Retreat facilitated by Barbara and Doug Babkirk - Danforth Inn, Portland, ME

September 21-27: Barbara's annual Women's Retreat in Provence. Now accepting registrations.