There’s no doubt about it, it can be devastating to be fired from your job. Even if you were ready to leave, you are bound to feel less than empowered when someone else exerts control over your fate.
While it may seem a distant goal when you are terminated, statistics say that you’re likely to find another job within three to six months. Since there is plenty of good advice about how to handle interviews and applications in light of a termination, I won’t be covering those issues in this blog.
Instead, I’ll address a related, but often over-looked topic: your entry into the next job. Anyone who has been laid off or terminated knows that confidence takes a considerable hit and gives way to self-doubt and misgivings about what you can truly accomplish. Even if you’ve managed to bolster yourself up enough to conduct a job search and secure a job offer, there’s one last hurdle to conquer: mastering a job after being told you failed at the last one. Here is a scenario that describes what someone faced in this type of transition:
It was six months after her termination that Cathy started a new position with responsibilities in a totally different industry than her previous setting. From the looks of her situation, it would appear that she had weathered the transition from being fired to gainfully employed without a problem. However, I heard another side of the story—one that was riddled with self-criticism and self-doubt and a resistance to reenter the marketplace for fear of another failure.
As is the case with over half of the terminations occurring in the workplace, Cathy’s relationship with her former supervisor had presented an impossible dynamic and she knew that was the impetus behind her termination. Nonetheless, Cathy internalized the barrage of criticisms and eventually assumed full responsibility for her demise that left her feeling somewhat worthless and skeptical of her value in the marketplace. Although she could hide it when necessary, she carried an emotional whirlwind into her job search.
After she applied for a job that required her unique credentials and relevant experience, Cathy was surprised to receive a generous employment offer and was especially shocked to learn that she was the search committee’s first choice hands down. She accepted the offer thinking they would surely retract it before her start date. All of her reactions were symptomatic of her low self-esteem.
The Sunday night before starting her new job, a familiar dread set in. She recognized that end-of-the-weekend anxiety she’d experienced during the ending of her previous job. Her body remembered how it was “supposed” to feel as she anticipated work, even though the reality of her new workplace was unknown.
I saw Cathy again after she had been at her new job for a month. She seemed relaxed and there was a sparkle in her eyes that I had not seen before.
She reported that her new boss was easygoing and appreciative of her skills and contributions. However, in discussing her workday, it became clear that she was overworking, going in early and staying quite late. She was tired, yet felt afraid that she might be fired for not doing enough—another holdover from her former job.
Her assumptions and concerns were dictating her actions and her emotions had her in a spin about what might happen if…In recognizing how her thoughts were influencing her experience at her new job, Cathy was able to distinguish reality from speculation and fear. She needed clearer expectations from her boss and planned to speak to him about it. She committed to doing her best to meet those expectations, but not to exceed them at the expense of her health and well-being.
Although it will take some time, Cathy is leaving her former job behind and is creating a new work experience that will replace hurtful memories and nagging self doubt with increased confidence and a focus on the present.
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