Thanks to The Secret, people are giving much attention these days to attracting what they want in their lives. Without going into detail about my opinion of the best selling book and DVD, I’ll share what I know about manifesting your desires. Let’s just say that it’s not quite as simple as the popular "wish for it and it’s yours" law of attraction.

First of all, clarity is key. But, that does not mean that you have to know specifically what you want. If that sounds like a contradiction, it's not necessarily so. You can recognize the essence of what you want without being able to describe all the details about it.

For example, many of my clients want a new job or career. Initially, they cannot name the job title, the prospective employer or, in some cases, even the skills they want to use in their new work. But, they are always able to identify the outcome they desire as a result of the change.

Whether it is increased compensation that includes a retirement plan, an opportunity to make a meaningful contribution to a cause, or an increased intellectual challenge, people know what they are looking for in the transition.

Not being able to identify the specifics often presents a roadblock to people desiring a change. They make assumptions about what they need to know in order to find it or move forward. I believe it is okay, and in many cases, the best strategy, to let go of the specifics of a desire and let possibilities flow. In doing just that, it is likely that options that you hadn’t imagined begin to present themselves. You can start talking about the outcome and see what happens.

In addition to clarity about the outcome you desire, it's important to be flexible around the timeframe by which you want it to happen. Most desires include a host of details that are not in our control. In order to be flexible, you may have to enact a "Plan B" while "Plan A" is germinating (e.g. taking a temporary job while you aim for the permanent one).

Perhaps the most important tip of all is to learn to have patience with the process and to trust in yourself. Both are difficult to sustain amid "get it quick" schemes that lack the discipline and personal challenge typically inherent in important life transitions.

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I'll be speaking at the following upcoming events and hope you might attend:
"Get Beyond the Midlife Crisis: Life and Work in the Second Half of Life" Saturday, May 19, 11:45am, Goodall Hospital's Annual Women's Expo.