Have you ever considered how your parent's expectations, their own particular career choices and work attitudes, or your home environment affect your work-related decisions?
Some people think that once they become adults, they are no longer influenced by childhood experiences, especially when it comes to work and career. But, that's far from reality in many cases.
Take for example, a man I'll call Dean, who, in an attempt to win approval from his father, chose the same career field, only to find out he was a miserable in it. Rather than choosing what would suit him and his interests and skills, Dean chose what he thought would please his father and ended up unhappy and confused. Because of the complex emotional issues influencing Dean's career choice, he was not aware of what was at the heart of his confusion and dissatisfaction around his work.
Jane is sometimes fearful and anxious at work and finds that certain work situations or particular types of people trigger her anxiety. When triggered, Jane becomes “paralyzed” in her thinking and is unable to make significant contributions to her work.
Jane's childhood environment was chaotic and sometime violent. At work, when she found herself in situations that in some way remind her of her childhood environment, she reverted back to behaviors and feelings she adopted at an early age to keep herself safe and out of harm's way. While these behaviors may have been effective when she was young, they now resulted in less than satisfactory performance reviews from her supervisor.
Sally grew up with her siblings and parents, all of whom contributed to the family owned business. The enterprise was all consuming, and kept everyone busy seven days a week. Sally learned at an early age that you “live to work” and that working hard and being productive was the way to be. When Sally graduated from college, she chose not to stay in the family business, but none-the-less, found it impossible to create any type of work/life balance. Her boss had to insist that she take earned vacation and Sally was often at a loss about how to spend her non-work time. She was stressed from over work, but she did not recognize the connection between her family or origin conditioning and her current behavior.
These are a few examples of how family and childhood can influence current work behaviors and choices. If you have noticed a pattern in your work that keeps you from achieving your goals and desires, and you are not clear as to why, you could be influenced by your past.
If this is the case, you may benefit from some help in sorting this out. Your employer's Employee Assistance Program might be a good place to start.
- - - - - - -
Upcoming events featuring or sponsored by Heart At Work
May 2,3,4 - Boomer Expo, Portland Sports Complex, Barbara will give a talk on Reinventing Yourself in the Second Half of Life.
May 8: HR Conventionn at the Samoset Resort in Rockport: Barbara and Amy Jaffe, will co-present a workshop: "Averting Quarterlife and Midlife Crises in Your Workplace: 5 Key Retention Strategies".
Subscribe
