One of my clients called it the “dreaded conversation.”
Whether it’s to your family, friends, colleagues or acquaintances, communicating the fact that you are unemployed is never easy. But, the anticipation of it can be even worse.
Here are a few tips that might lessen the difficulty around this often-troubling communiqué:
1. Get your story straight and don’t rush to tell it.. Be clear in your own mind what happened. Whether you have been laid off or fired, you will need some time to sort out the facts from your hurt feelings or anger. As time passes, you will become more objective and even somewhat detached from the circumstances.
2. Be selective about what you tell and to whom. While it might seem cathartic to “tell all” to anyone who asks about your situation, it’s not a good idea to vent to people who could be resources to you in a future job search. Keep your wits about you and consider the impact of what you say and to whom.
3. Find a truthful way to briefly explain why you are unemployed--if someone asks. Otherwise, don’t offer an explanation. There are always several truths behind every layoff or firing. Pick one that does not sound negative, blaming or self-effacing. If indeed, it was time for a change for you, leave it at that.
4. Lead the conversation to the subject of what’s next for you. Keep your attention on possibilities for the future, rather than happenings of the past. With any conversation, think about how the person might connect you with his or her network or what advice he or she might have to offer in regards to a new direction.
5. Stay positive in your conversations and clearly focus on what you want. You will be more likely to attract a good lead or networking contact who will connect you with a job prospect if you seem upbeat and have a sense of where you want to go. This does not mean you have to know the job title of your next position. Rather, have a sense of your skills, interests and values as they relate to the marketplace.
Remember, after the first couple of “dreaded conversations”, you will have met the challenge and will be free to move on to the more significant task of finding new work.
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Barbara will be presenting a keynote address: Life After 50: The Times They Are A Changin' sponsored by the University of Maine Alumni Association and UMaine Cooperative Extension. The public is welcome: http://www.mainealumni.com/events.htm
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