I was attempting to write a blog while en route to San Diego to visit my daughter, Kate, who recently moved there from San Francisco. Very tight seating in the A319 jet made it next to impossible to find a position that would allow me to breathe and type at the same time. Finally, the person in the seat in front of me adjusted her seat forward and I could manage both tasks.

The trip to the west coast was exciting not only because I was visiting my daughter who had settled into a new city, but also because she was in the throws of a job search. The combination of my being a career counselor and her mother can be a little intense for Kate in times like these. Yet, she seems to take my natural fascination for people's career paths and wholehearted curiosity about her particular approach to the job market in stride.

Take, for example, her first job search… It's hard enough at times to find a job in a place you know well, let alone in a city 3,000 miles away which you've visited a couple of times on vacation with family. Right after college, Kate made the journey to San Francisco with resume in hand and a very vague notion of what she might like to do: work in a cause-related organization using her writing and verbal skills. It was not an unrealistic target for anthropology major with fluency in Spanish, but didn't translate into any particular job. She clearly needed to look around to see what the marketplace had to offer.

With her home base quickly established, Kate first scoped out the employment agencies for temporary work that would tide her over until she found a more permanent position. I was surprised to learn that the hourly rates were so much higher there: $12-$20 compared to $8-$10 in Maine. Of course, this makes sense since the cost of living there is astronomical.

I'll never forget her first temp job. She was hired to temp at $14 per hour for a major bank as one of six greeters at a reception for their boutique customers. Kate was told to wear a business suit to the event and to show up at 3pm sharp at a swanky downtown hotel. So far, this gig was not hard to take; and it got better. Upon arrival, she was told to make conversation with the guests and help herself to the abundance of hors d'oeuvres and mai tais flowing from a fountain in the center of the room! Four hours later, her job was done and she went home thinking, "This temping thing is not bad!" I, on the other hand, could not believe my ears and wondered where in the world my daughter had landed. Although not all of Kate's subsequent temp jobs were as glamorous, many were interesting and one led to an actual job offer, which she declined because it would have set her on a career path she knew was not of interest to her.

She finally received her first job offer in San Francisco through a Maine connection. In addition to temping, Kate spent hours developing and following up on contacts from her college alumni, to friends of friends. Her most successful lead was from Karin Anderson, Executive Director of the Maine Women\'s Fund. After years of my preaching the value of networking, Kate was somewhat convinced and followed up on the lead. A month later, after one appointment with a contact, Kate received a call from her soon-to-be-employer. Kate had come so highly recommended that the woman felt convinced she had found her new staff person. Meeting her clinched the deal. Three years and a promotion later, Kate now telecommutes from San Diego, as a transitional arrangement knowing that it is only a matter of time when she will have a new base of employment in San Diego.

What's next for her? Well, a friend passed her name on to a colleague whose mother owns a start up company. Last night she had an interview with the president of the company who told Kate she was the only candidate for the job at this time. Could this be yet another stroke of luck for her where she does not have to vie for a job with other candidates? I'll be eager to find out. But in any case, her job search to date certainly bodes well for the power of networking. Stay tuned for to hear the latest in her job search…

I met with two people yesterday, each of whom is trying to figure out the best time to take the leap and quit their day job to plunge into their entrepreneurial ventures full time. While they each had concerns about paying the mortgage and letting go of health care benefits, they also shared an intense passion for the work they were imagining. Their passion for their new work was in distinct contrast with their feelings about their current work. Each had an idea of when it would be practical to resign, but agreed that their timeframe might not be soon enough to satisfy their growing desire to move on.

That didn't surprise me. Once a person lets the proverbial cat out of the bag, or in other words, acknowledges that they are ready to move on, there's no turning back, even for practical reasons. The old job never looks the same after that. The veil of denial so needed to keep showing up daily at a job that no longer engages the person, disappears and reveals what is true: it's time to leave. The practical side of most people tries to stuff this reality back down, but that is not easy once it's exposed.

Perhaps Pascal's quote: "The heart has reasons of which reason knows not" helps explain the conflict of head and heart each person in this situation experiences.

So, what do you do if you find yourself in this place of "one foot in and one foot out" of your job?

- Try to balance your intuition and inner self with your more analytical and practical side. That might involve writing your thoughts, concerns and desires in a journal, or meeting regularly with a friend to help you stay accountable around steps you're taking to make progress with your new work.
- At times it's effective and empowering to stare down your fear. Get out your calculator and itemize your expenses and determine as accurately as possible just how much income you will need to get by for a period of time. It is common for people to make assumptions that are inaccurate and keep them from the transition they want.
- Shift your mindset from "I'll have to choose between having enough and work I enjoy" to "I intend to have all I need."
- Take specific steps each week toward your desired work.

People in job transitions who are not certain about their career direction always dread the question: "So, what do you want to do next?" Thinking that they must reply with a specific job title, they may dodge conversations that could potentially be helpful in their transition.

These days, job titles, even in specific industries, are not standardized as they once were. Plus, there are so many more titles in the marketplace than ever before. "The Dictionary of Occupational Titles", now called O*Net lists more than 12,740 occupations with brief descriptions, for anyone who wants to try to locate their dream job. There certainly are some zany titles out there that make it difficult to zero in on a position by its title. For example, if you want to work in tech support at Disney, you'd better look for the title "Imagineering", at a New York ad agency, all staff has non-traditional job titles, like "grand master of client satisfaction" for the manager of customer relations. You won't find those titles on any job search engine.

So, if a person does not identify a job title, how do they explain to others what it is they want to do? I advise my clients to be clear about what they do best (and also enjoy doing) and be able to communicate it in four or five sentences. Period. Rambling on and on will only give the impression you don't really know what you want. Be concise yet informative; then ask where those tasks are performed in the person's organization. The answer will direct you to your next step in your transition: talking with the person who is using the skills you want to use in your next job. At this point, it doesn't really matter if there is a position open or not. Situations in the marketplace change from minute to minute. A job vacancy can occur at any time and it's good to be prepared and know what it is you want—short of a specific job title.

While it is easier to find a job when you reside in the area, most people don’t have the luxury of moving without a job. So, if you need the job to make the move, you will have to conduct your job search from a distance. Here are tips that I share with my phone clients who live in other states to help them make a successful transition:

1. Identify your career and personal goals.
- Clarify the type of job want. Are you interested in changing careers or just employers?
- Where do you want to live, including location as well as type of residence?
- What is your ideal time frame for moving?

2. Write a job description that reflects what you want and use it as a benchmark.
- Know what is necessary or negotiable for you in terms of: salary and benefits, responsibilities, physical work environment and colleagues, skills, and workplace culture.

3. Update your professional materials.
- A current resume is essential as you begin to conduct your search. Once you apply for an actual position, you may want to change the resume format or modify the information so it represents you best. Since employers may question your commitment to move, or hesitate to contact you because of relocation expenses, consider using a friend or relative’s address as your contact information on your resume.
- Many people in the job search today are creating portfolios to supplement
their resume. Appropriate for the interview stage of the job search, a portfolio is a collection of materials that might include: the resume, letters of reference or recognition, writing samples, articles written or presentations delivered, or any other representation of your work.
- Identify references and request letters to have on file.
- Create a list of skills you have consistently used during your work history. Keep in mind those skills you enjoy using and be ready to give concrete, brief examples when you have effectively demonstrated them.

4. Become familiar with your target location.
- Subscribe to the local newspaper, especially the Sunday edition. Pay attention to articles on new businesses, expansions, and notices of promotions and hew hires, as well as the classifieds.
- Plan an exploratory trip to conduct informational interviews and
network with other professionals.
- Contact the Chamber of Commerce, Office of Tourism, and Department of labor and request a relocation packet. Access the Chamber’s on-line directory of members.
-For specific information about relocating to Maine, go to the Maine State Government's special page dedicated to this topic.
-Identify organizations and companies that employ people in your targeted positions. Visit their websites for job postings and info on new developments.

5. Identify and research key resources in your industry or career field.
- Research the professional associations affiliated with your target job. The Encyclopedia of Associations, available at most libraries, gives useful descriptions. Note the officer’s names and the date and place of their annual conference. Plan to attend if possible. Contact the association's officers for help with networking.
- Contact the career services office at your undergraduate and graduate schools. Request a print out of alumni/ae working in your field near your target location.
- Tell anyone you know of your plans to relocate. Ask if they know anyone who lives and works in your target location and if they would be willing to send an e-mail asking if you might contact them for networking.
- Check out craig's list for job postings. Many major cities have a “craig's list”--a site that is becoming increasingly popular for finding anything from jobs and roommates to furniture and housing.
- You may choose to contact headhunters/recruiters/executive search firms. Search these professionals by location or industry at: www.i-recruit.com.
- Know the salary ranges in the new locale for the position/s you are targeting. The informative site The Riley Guide has a links to salary surveys, as well as severance and separation packages.
- If your profession requires licensure or credentialing, you can look up requirements by state at Career One Stop Centers.

Stay focused on your goal and take specific steps each week toward it. Before you know it, you'll be living and working where you want to be!

In case you’re wondering, this blog is not about “take your child to work day”. Rather, it’s about the fact that many people assume the same role at work as they did in their families of origin and that can cause a lot of problems.

Take for example, the case of David (not the real name, but an actual client of mine). As the oldest in his family, he was a “take charge” individual, very responsible, and a high achiever. One could say his characteristics were typical of his family birth order.

At 48, David was a manager in a medium-sized firm and came to see me to sort out whether he should change jobs, his employer or both. After a couple of sessions, it became clear why David was so frustrated and had reached a limit around his work. Even though there were interesting projects and possibilities associated with his job, David was not able to pursue them because he was always stepping in for his subordinates when they did not follow through on tasks. Consistent with his childhood role of being overly responsible, David often assumed more than his share of the workload. After many years, this behavior was taking a toll on his attitude and energy. While his role as rescuer was familiar and even expected by his subordinates, it was no longer working for him.

There was another factor that made it difficult for David to simply change his management style and set appropriate limits to hold people accountable. Growing up, David’s family life was stressful because of his father’s erratic, violent outbursts. Being very responsible gave him a sense of being in control and sometimes kept the lid on his father’s anger. In his family, David’s behavior was a way of surviving in a difficult environment. In the workplace, it was misplaced and not necessary. Dr. Janet Woititz, author of "Home Away From Home, The Art of Self-Sabotage", writes about the phenomenon of adults from “families that have difficulty functioning and communicating in emotionally healthy ways” and the difficulties they face when they transfer their histories to the workplace.

It is said, “awareness is the first step to change”. As David began to understand the intricacies of his work dilemma, he was able to sort out which issues related to the job, and which ones were based in old family dynamics. From a clearer perspective, he could more accurately see his options and make appropriate work-related decisions.

This is a question that everyone should ask themselves from time to time. When people lose interest in their jobs, it may be because the job no longer aligns with their values and motivation to work. That does not necessarily mean that they made a bad decision in the first place. Rather, it could mean that the job or work culture changed, or that their personal or professional priorities have shifted.

You might find several people doing the same job, but having different attitudes about it. For one, that fact that they receive a paycheck and time off for a fun vacation might be reason enough to show up each day. For another, it might be the sense of satisfaction he or she experiences in a job for which they feel particularly suited that motivates them. Still another might be inspired by an opportunity to make a contribution to something greater than herself or himself. Knowing what is important to you can help you assess job options as well as determine how closely your current job fits with them.

The following is a list of work-related values. Identify your top three and ask yourself how much they are reflected in your current work. Your response might help you understand your current attitude toward your job.

Value/Priority: Definition
•Achievement: accomplishing a goal
•Aesthetics: desire for beauty and harmony
•Affiliation: be recognized as a member of a group or organization
•Altruism: being of service and helping others
•Change/Variety: performing new tasks often
•Creativity: engaging in something new, artistic or innovative
•Education: desire to learn or teach
•Health: well-being of mind/body/spirit
•Independence: determining the nature of your work without significant
direction from others
•Integrity: work demands that are consistent with beliefs
•Justice: working toward fair treatment for all
•Leadership/Influence: having a direct impact on others
•Moral fulfillment: contributing to moral standards that you value
•Prestige: receiving respect and high regard from others
•Stability a work routine and responsibilities that are generally
predictable and not likely to change
•Time Freedom: able to work according to a personal time schedule
•Wealth: earning enough to have a high level of discretionary
income

Last night was a perfect night for a garden party. I was delighted to join dozens of people gathered in one of Yarmouth's splendid "secret gardens" to celebrate the successful launch of the Maine Women's Journal. Susan Neale, the hostess and the new quarterly magazine's publisher, is one of those inspiring people who made her dream come true. Although Susan would be the first to tell you that it didn't happen overnight, or too easily at first, her process included many points that are essential to making any dream a reality. I'd like to share some insights that come from my observations of Susan's success as well as my work with clients who have transformed ideas into concrete results.

Those things we long to do, our dreams, are often combinations of experiences and aspects of ourselves that we want to be more prominent in our lives at any given time. When a dream begins to take shape, it is good to talk about it with people you trust. At this point it doesn't have to be well thought-out, just clear enough to begin to put it into words. As you hear yourself express an idea, it gets clearer to you, and is often augmented by another's attention and input.

This stage of "putting it out there" is critical, and it is especially important to be protective of the idea and discerning about the people with whom you share it. I'd suggest avoiding the naysayers who tend to think up reasons why something won't work. Once the dream is clearer and better established in your mind, it is more likely to withstand criticism and negative reactions—your own or someone else's. I've noticed that some individuals establish relationships with people who consistently dismiss their ideas in order to protect themselves from failing. Of course, the down side to that strategy is that they don't experience success either.

Keeping your dream alive through its various stages of development and expression can be challenging because it is likely to take longer than you imagined or wanted. Recognize where you have control and where you need to let go, and focus on steps that you can complete in small, yet consistent increments.

It can be a problem to be too attached to the specifics of your dream—the when and how of it. Try to isolate what's most important, its essence, rather than the details, and take time each day to focus on that.

Begin to anticipate and prepare for your dream like you would a good friend who is coming.

That's what the ad said and it caught my eye. While I don't play golf, the thought of playing hooky was enticing. It's not that I don't enjoy my work or that I find it boring. Rather, it was the idea of breaking from routine and doing something unplanned and spontaneous that made me consider the gist of the ad's invitation.

With the hours many of us work and the long list of tasks to accomplish in any given day, spontaneity is often considered a luxury someone else might afford. I believe that there are dangers from our heavy workloads and the increasing hours we work per year that go beyond the stress of managing it all. I fear we also run the risk of becoming so narrowly focused on our work that we forget about other activities that give us joy and satisfaction and round out our lives. I can see that Celia (Virtually Organized) and I are on the same wavelength this week in our similarly-themed blogs.

Here are questions to help you look at your work/life balance as it relates to your leisure time: What would you do if you had an unplanned afternoon away from work? Does that question leave you clueless, or does one or many options easily pop into your mind? When was the last time you engaged in any activity that you enjoyed so much you lost track of time? If your answers slant toward "work and no play", you might want to consider a former hobby or activity you once enjoyed and fit it into your schedule in the next couple of weeks—if not spontaneous, planned will do.

It's not infrequent that I encourage a client to pursue an activity that appears to have nothing to do with their career goals or work transition. Because I like to have a sense of how work fits into the context of a person's whole life, I am interested to know what passions, interests or goals are not acted upon. If taken into consideration, they could either shed light on a new direction or improve the person's work/life balance that may be affecting their attitude toward their work. Sometimes, the activity is symbolic of a larger challenge. Take for example, the case of a woman client I saw several years ago. She had forever longed to take voice lessons, but for a variety of reasons, never got around to it. As she described her work issue, which involved her need to be more assertive with her subordinates, it became clear that the time was right to find her voice. She hired a voice coach and covered two issues at once. Her voice lessons were not only enjoyable, they gave her the confidence she needed to shift her communication style at work.

Doing what you love to do can be productive.