James' first three years in his job were good in that he felt valued and had ample opportunities to develop his skills as a supervisor. However, in the fourth year, changes in management turned everything around for him. He and his new manager did not see eye to eye on priorities, and consequently, Jim felt that his ideas were disregarded or discounted.

In his fifth year, James decided he'd had enough and planned to give his resignation. He held a lot of resentment toward his boss and felt bitter about the antagonistic relationship they had. It was at that point that he came to see me for help with finding a new job, and to discuss a strategy for leaving his employer.

He considered an exit interview during which he would finally have his say, placing blame for his leaving on his superior and even on the organization for not rescuing him from the situation. He also fantasized about a meeting with his subordinates in which he would detail the ways he had been mistreated as justification for leaving them. His anger had been mounting and he wanted to release it.

I asked James what was the outcome he wanted from either of those actions. He thought for a moment and admitted that he just wanted people to hear him out, and even feel sorry for him. "Actually", he said, "I'd like someone to apologize." After hearing himself state these unlikely outcomes, he realized the futility in these actions. When I asked him how he wanted to be remembered, especially by those he supervised, he was clear: "I want people to think of me as someone they respected and who did the best he could in a difficult situation. I want to feel I made a difference in the lives of those whom I supervised."

With a focus on a positive legacy, James was then able to make decisions about his transition that were consistent with his desire to leave with respect. To his boss, whom he knew he could not influence, he wrote a brief, yet cordial resignation letter. He did not request an exit interview.

Last, but not least, he held a meeting with his team during which he conveyed his appreciation for what they had accomplished together, and identified a special trait that he appreciated in each of his supervisees. He was surprised that they, each in turn, did the same for him.

James did not burn any bridges in the way he left his employer, plus he shifted his focus to the positive actions and created memories that helped his attitude and motivation in his transition to new work.