Interestingly enough, just pondering this statement may provide a momentary relief from the complexity of our lives that keeps many of us in a constant hurried mode.
In the essence of the statement, we can catch our breath and imagine how full our lives might be in a simpler world without all of the material goods and professional ambitions we are told we need, should want, and can't live without. In a Zen-like moment, we get a glimpse of living in the paradox of the blog title where we let go of all we have and experience all we need.
Studies show that most of us long for more—time with friends and family-- and that we want to enjoy the life that feels like it is passing us by. Our hectic lives contrasted with our desire for something different begs the question "Why are we working?" and "Why can't we just slow down and live more simply?"
Juliet Schor, author and professor at Boston College who writes on the "New Politics of Consumption", says it's because we are caught in a cycle of overspending that keeps us in a perpetual spin of needing to work and be productive. Our insatiable habit to accumulate more and more keeps us working hours in excess than we did just a decade ago with no signs of lessening in the near future.
What would it take to create a shift in our status quo? While some of us may look externally (from our employer, our government, our family…) for a change that will make our lives better, we are more likely to experience a timely result when we take charge of our own lives.
Begin with these simple questions:
•What matters most to me in my life at this time?
•How aligned is my life to what I value?
•What is one simple step I can take in the next two weeks to bring about greater alignment with what I most value?
•Repeat this exercise every six months.
Get ready to live a life that surprises you with its simplicity.
Consider these three different descriptions of people in job transitions. In spite of their diverse backgrounds, they share a common concern about what might deter them from reaching their career goals…
Jen is 30 something, bright and enthusiastic with several years of West Coast experience in her field. Her Master's Degree focuses her credentials and adds much to her credibility as a professional. She wants to establish herself back in her native New England, but she questions whether she will be perceived as experienced enough to distinguish herself from other, more established and older professionals.
During Bob's 30 years in technology sales, he has consistently achieved goals and deadlines and developed a wealth of knowledge about his particular industry. He's now looking to make a significant change to a different field and job altogether. At 53, Bob is concerned that he is too old to make such a drastic shift in his career. Having enjoyed a certain amount of comfort that comes with experience and years in a particular field, he is also reticent about the prospect of "starting over" in a new field.
After two decades as an administrative assistant in the legal field, Molly is in a midlife transition. While she is not certain about where she wants to end up, she is clear that she wants to complete her college degree. She wonders if she missed her opportunity by not remaining in school years before and she is scared that she will be perceived as too old to be a college student again.
It seems to be true that a person's age can be an asset or a liability when it comes to finding or keeping a job. What is not clear or consistent are the conditions under which age is in our favor or not. Consequently, many people are left guessing about where they stand vis à vis the age factor in securing a job.
The fact that age discrimination and bias exist makes some people ill at ease as they approach the job market. However, fearing something over which one has no control, is simply not productive or useful. Instead, it's important to remain focused on the skills, experiences, and qualities that are relevant to one's goal and let go of thoughts that emanate from fears and speculation.
Being in a place of uncertainty is difficult for most people. A person’s tendency is to leave the unknown with its vague and unsettling qualities for a clearer path. Yet, there are times in life when, as much as we would like a more defined direction, it is not to be found.
In the American culture, there is much value placed on getting something done and not much tolerance for being in the process of figuring something out. Yet, the fact remains that any transition has three stages: a beginning stage when it occurs to us that we need a change, a middle stage where we are fraught with confusion and unanswered questions, and an end when we move fully into the new possibility.
Most of us expect and cope with the first and last stages, but we prefer to circumvent the middle one, perhaps because it seems unproductive in our fast-paced outcome-driven culture. But the middle stage has its own meaning and importance in the scheme of things.
This middle stage is a liminal place—the time in-between one reality and another. It can be rich with anticipation and excitement for what is to come, or frustrating and annoying for its inherent lack of definition and directives. As is the case with any threshold, there is a time to step over it into the new place.
Some people, driven by anxiety, rush over the threshold to quell the discomfort that comes with being in unknown territory. They typically experience a mix of outcomes that result from fear-based decisions.
On the other hand, there are those who choose to embrace the liminal place as a legitimate stage in their transition convinced that it holds promise and purpose. They patiently and intentionally wait for external and internal indicators to move into the next phase. All the while, they eagerly anticipate, like a good friend who is coming, the moment when they’ll know the move is right.
Is there currently a liminal place in your life about which you could shift your attitude?
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Barbara will be presenting a workshop: “Midllife: How to Avoid the Crisis by Understanding Your Heart’s Desire” in the “Mindful Aging Series” at Sweet Water Day Spa on Wednesday, October 18 from 6-8pm. Call: 443-4723 for more info.
Feeling down often accompanies unemployment, being in a job that is less than satisfying, or difficulty finding new work. Periods of mild depression are understandable and normal responses to those difficult situations.
I want to make a distinction between clinical depression that lasts more than a few weeks and is accompanied by a sense of overall hopelessness and the experience of feeling down that can be linked to a difficult life event. The first example requires professional attention from a doctor or therapist in order to assess the severity and recognize options for improvement. Options for the latter are addressed in this blog.
Even though it's natural to be in a periodic slump during stressful or frustrating work-related experiences, it does not mean you have to stay there. But finding ways to lift your spirits that do not put at risk other aspects of your life like your emotional, physical or financial wellbeing can be challenging.
The research of Anne Wilson Schaef and many others shows that Americans are caught in addictive behaviors that keep them in patterns of self-destruction and depression. Whether the pattern is eating too much, compulsive shopping, overworking or substance abuse, these behaviors momentarily shift a mood, but typically make matters worse in the long run.
I'd like to suggest two very simple, yet proven strategies to lift your spirits. The best part is that neither of these ideas necessarily costs money or very much time.
The first strategy is to surround yourself with beauty. The options are limitless and depend on your interests and taste. From a flower garden or park to a walk on the beach, the natural world provides free and endless possibilities to be in beauty. Author and theologian Thomas Moore who wrote the best seller, Care of the Soul has recently written a book titled "Beauty" that speaks to the soul's need for beauty and all the ways it impacts us. Moore states that being intentional about creating and finding beauty in our lives is more than "something nice to do". Rather, Moore notes that beauty is healing and a necessary aspect of living a full life.
The second strategy is to be in a place of gratitude. There is compelling research that shows an actual positive physiological shift in the functions of the heart, blood pressure and brain when there is a shift in one's thinking from a negative focus to thoughts of gratitude. This strategy only takes minutes by simply making a mental note of those people and life circumstances for which you are grateful. Or you could decide to invest more time and attention on a daily basis by writing in a "gratitude journal".
You might experiment with either or both of these strategies for a week and see what the impact is. At the very least, you might discover a new place to visit or feel calmer for a time.
The beauty of Provence Flowers
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