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LifeWorks

Barbara Sirois Babkirk, LCPC, is a career counselor with a record of success guiding satisfying career transitions for individuals ranging from executives and attorneys to artists and entrepreneurs. Barbara is the owner of Heart at Work, offering career counseling, outplacement and retention services based in Yarmouth, Maine. She is a frequent speaker on work-related topics and leads an annual women's retreat in the South of France.
January 2007
January 29, 2007
What If You Could Not Fail?

Imagine that you were given a guarantee: You could take any risk and succeed at it. Would it change the course of your life? Does any one thing come to mind that you would want to do under these circumstances? If an idea surfaced as you asked yourself these questions, perhaps it warrants some further attention.

Fear of failure needlessly squelches many interesting and creative ideas. It is often why people lose motivation when contemplating a transition—they get scared that the idea won't work even before they have fully thought it through.

I'm not certain why people tend to focus their attention on potential failures, or "the worst thing that could happen" scenarios, but I suppose it has to do with self-protection. However, a false sense of safety gained from avoiding risks can come with a high price, as many of us trade off the possibility of realizing our dreams.

Here are a few steps you might consider if you want to revive an idea that has fallen prey to a fear of failure mindset:

1. Listen to any response that comes from the question: What if you could not fail?
2. Ask yourself what is it about this idea that is so appealing?
3. What aspects of yourself would be engaged by such an idea?
4. What assumptions do you have about this idea?
5. What else do you need to know about this idea and where or from whom can you find out?
6. What is one step you could take to move a little closer to this idea in order to see it more clearly?

After you've taken these steps, ask yourself how you now feel about the idea? Are you more energized about it? Less interested? If clarifying your idea increased your interest, think about what else you could do to further its development. Take things one step at a time in order to avoid becoming overwhelmed by the whole of it, or by the unknown aspects that may cause you to make up stories about it.

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Where Barbara is presenting next:
•Women Supporting Women, a free event of the The Maine Women's Fund
February 6, The Woodlands Club, 7-9pm. Come hear about work and life balance and unleashing your investment Goddess!

•Maine Association of Personality Type
Using the MBTI in career counseling featuring Barbara Babkirk and Amy Jaffe
Free, Tuesday, February 27, 6:30-8:30pm, Falmouth Library

•Yarmouth Wellness Fair, sponsored by the Yarmouth Chamber of Commerce Saturday, March 3, 10-3pm, Yarmouth High School

•Hardy Girls, Healthy Women Conference
Saturday, March 24, Fairfield, KVCC

Posted by Barbara Babkirk at 10:45 AM
Comments (2) | Permalink

January 23, 2007
Step Back and Reflect On Your Life.

Our culture has rituals to mark important life passages: graduations, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries and deaths, to name a few. As we commemorate these passages, we may also use the occasion to reflect on our lives. But what else prompts us to take stock and think about life when there is not an event to celebrate or recognize?

Sometimes it's a nagging sense that we should be doing something else, an increasing frustration with our current reality, or even an unexpected opportunity that get our attention. These feelings or situations can nudge and even inspire us to look beyond our status quo and imagine possibilities for our future.

It's arguably easier to ignore the prompts that come with far less fanfare than a wedding gala or retirement party. But, sometimes it is those subtler cues that arrive in a whisper and contrast enough with the rest of our lives to make us notice. Having diverted our attention, these cues remind us of what is most pressing in our lives. In further contrast with how we typically receive information from the outside in, these prompts come from deep within us and invite us to participate in our own process of discovery. Their message is simple and complete: Slow down, listen and reflect. The results may surprise you or even change the course of your life.

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Where Barbara is presenting next:
•Women Supporting Women, a free event of the The Maine Women's Fund
February 6, The Woodlands Club, 7-9pm. Come hear about work and life balance and unleashing your investment Goddess!

•Maine Association of Personality Type
Using the MBTI in career counseling featuring Barbara Babkirk and Amy Jaffe
Free, Tuesday, February 27, 6:30-8:30pm, Falmouth Library

•Yarmouth Wellness Fair, sponsored by the Yarmouth Chamber of Commerce Saturday, March 3, 10-3pm, Yarmouth High School

•Hardy Girls, Healthy Women Conference
Saturday, March 24, Fairfield, KVCC

Posted by Barbara Babkirk at 07:17 AM
Comments (0) | Permalink

January 15, 2007
Find New Meaning in Winter

It is finally here: winter in Maine. While the season actually changed on December 21, the winter solstice, nature has belied this fact until today when we experienced our first storm of the season.

Whether you enjoy winter or merely put up with it, this season remains a predictable aspect of life in Maine. Understanding the significance of the season that holds both the demise of the old year and the emergence of the new as daylight increases, might give new meaning to your experience of freezing temperatures, snow covered terrain and icy footpaths.

At this time of year we tend to remain inside much more and we can become closed off to the outside world. During this insular time, we are all invited into the paradox of experiencing the darkness around us in order to find our inner light.

With the backdrop of the winter solstice, it is useful to consider our own lives at this time of passage from darkness to light. Here are some questions upon which you might reflect and journal to tap your inner knowing and align with the season's energy:

* What does the darkness of winter evoke in me?
* What is the conversation that awaits me in this period of darkness and quiet?
* Is there a belief or attitude that I might release, strengthen or alter in order to embrace this time as purposeful?
* Like the seeds deep within the winter ground, what lies dormant within me?
* As I begin to prepare for increasing daylight, what am I hopeful about in my life?
* What activities, experiences or people keep my hopes alive?

"Without darkness nothing comes to birth,
without light nothing flowers."
– May Sarton

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Where Barbara is presenting next:
•Women Supporting Women, a free event of the The Maine Women\'s Fund
February 6, The Woodlands Club, 7-9pm. Come hear about work and life balance and unleashing your investment Goddess!

•Maine Association of Personality Type
Using the MBTI in career counseling featuring Barbara Babkirk and Amy Jaffe
Free, Tuesday, February 27, 6:30-8:30pm, Falmouth Library

•Yarmouth Wellness Fair, sponsored by the Yarmouth Chamber of CommerceSaturday, March 3, 10-3pm, Yarmouth, HS

•Hardy Girls, Healthy Women Conference
Saturday, March 24, KVCC

Posted by Barbara Babkirk at 01:25 PM
Comments (0) | Permalink

January 08, 2007
Keys To Your New Year's Success

At the beginning of a new year, people often make a commitment to change some aspect of their lives. While changing jobs is not one of the top ten, several of the most popular resolutions could easily imply a job change. Of the top ten resolutions, spending more time with friends and family, learning something new and enjoying life more all could all point to one's job or career as a means to the goal.

Over the years, I've heard many stories that attest to what works and what does not in achieving success in a transition to new work. While I don't propose that these three are the only effective strategies, I will say that they can add great value to a person's transition.

1. Make space in your life.
It seems that everyone is talking about how busy they are and wishing for more time to get things done. As contrary as it may seem, stopping, rather than doing more, is a paradoxical way toward more effective results. When one's mind and daily schedule are full to the brim, there's no room for new ideas, let alone additional tasks necessary to make a change. It's amazing how a few minutes of reflective time, writing in a journal, or conscious breathing can help shift a feeling of being stuck or overwhelmed.

2. Ask "what" rather than "how".
Inherent in a transition is usually the question "how". There is something about that question that seems to demand an immediate answer. But transitions, especially in their early stages, are typically not developed enough to address these "how" demands. Unable to come up with adequate responses to the "how", most people assume their ideas are not feasible and give up on them.

Instead of abandoning your ideas, try asking "what" and hold off on the "how" until later in your process. Once you are clear about your desire and direction, you may find that your initial "how" questions change or that the answers are more readily available. Clarity about "what" fuels a person's resolve; whereas premature "how" questions block any glimpse of new possibilities.

3. Trust, let go and have patience.
Most people like to be in control. While there's nothing wrong with feeling in charge of one's life, it's impossible for a person to make everything fall into place when it involves others and situations that are out of their control.

Somewhere in the course of a transition, a person must let go of what is unfolding, including the timing of it all. In order to truly let go, patience and trust are essential. If a person recognizes that these qualities are integral to the transition process, rather than distractions from it, they may find the important task of waiting for certain outcomes more tolerable.

-•-•-•-•-•-

Where Barbara is presenting next:
•Women Supporting Women, a free event of the The Maine Women\'s Fund
February 6, The Woodlands Club, 7-9pm. Come hear about work and life balance and unleashing your investment Goddess!

•Maine Association of Personality Type
Using the MBTI in career counseling featuring Barbara Babkirk and Amy Jaffe
Free, Tuesday, February 27, 6:30-8:30pm, Falmouth Library

•Yarmouth Wellness Fair, sponsored by the Yarmouth Chamber of CommerceSaturday, March 3, 10-3pm, Yarmouth, HS

•Hardy Girls, Healthy Women Conference
Saturday, March 24, KVCC

Posted by Barbara Babkirk at 11:50 AM
Comments (0) | Permalink

January 02, 2007
What Are You Yearning For in the New Year?

I'm continuously amazed by the poetic and poignant statements people make as they express their struggle and desire to find work that aligns with who they are.

In a whisper of a voice she said: "I have a yearning." Hearing those words, I released an empathetic sigh and leaned in to hear more of what she had to say. What followed was a dialogue about an intense desire to reclaim a part of herself she had abandoned long ago.

Sometimes we forgo options in life that are more appealing in favor of those choices that allow us to keep our responsibilities or commitments in tact. The choice of the more pragmatic road, while it is satisfying in its own way, can have an impact on us that we do not realize until later in life.

It may not be until you hit 40 or 50 that you notice a pull in a different direction, typically in the work arena. This tug is often vague at first. But, if you give it attention and allow yourself to be curious rather than fearful or discounting, you will begin to get glimpses of what is calling you.

The poet, David Whyte, writes about this experience in his poem "Easter in Wales":

A garden inside me, unknown, secret,
neglected for years,
the layers of its soil deep and thick.
Trees in the corners with branching arms
and the tangled briars like broken nets.

Sunrise through the misted orchard,
morning sun turns silver on the pointed twigs.
I have woken from the sleep of ages and I am not sure
if I am really seeing, or dreaming,
or simply astonished
walking toward sunrise
to have stumbled into the garden
where the stone was rolled from the tomb of longing.

The experience of giving in to a deep longing can be one of the richest in life. But it is important to understand that the path to its discovery is to be appreciated and attended to, much like the garden that is awaiting.

You would be giving yourself a gift in this New Year to ask whether you have a longing. If this resonates, it's likely that as you ask the question, you'll feel it deep within, even before your mind can try to figure out what it is. Work with your images, write down your thoughts and feelings, work gently toward the fulfillment of your longing.

Wishing you all the best for the New Year….

Posted by Barbara Babkirk at 07:15 AM
Comments (5) | Permalink

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