I just read an article in the latest issue of Spirituality and Health magazine entitled "How Stress Shrinks Your Brain." Since stress seems analogous to life these days, the article got my attention. The bad news presented in the article is that prolonged stress changes the way the brain looks and functions. The good news is that the damage is reversible with any number of interventions that diminish resulting anxiety such as cognitive therapy, medication, exercise and meditation.

The article brought to mind a friend who, as a senior manager, has what some might consider a stressful job, but who rarely seems stressed. After a brief discussion about how he spends his time at work, I had an idea about what helps him avoid the all-too-common stress reactions.

First of all, Tom, as I'll refer to him, has a home office. While his schedule requires travel to meetings with a variety of people during the week, Tom spends at least two days out of five working alone at home. During these days, he can focus on his writing and considerable correspondence without interruptions, take necessary stretch breaks that incorporate deep breathing and eat his lunch on the terrace in the company of chickadees and cardinals.

In other words, Tom's workday at his home office is balanced by connections with nature and attention to his physical and intellectual needs. When he shifts gears to attend meetings at conventional offices, he is in good shape to effectively manage the predictable array of issues or attend to staff members who need his immediate input, without getting caught up in any particular drama or crisis.

Though he admits it was not intentional, Tom seems to have discovered several effective ways to avoid work stress. While most of us cannot structure our workdays like Tom's, we can all incorporate some of the useful strategies inherent in his situation. I've listed several simple tips from his story that may help anyone better manage or even ward off stress at work:

- Recognize what you personally need in order to work optimally (e.g. uninterrupted moments each day, contact with people on a regular basis, time to attend to physical needs).
- Review your daily schedule to determine how your needs can be addressed and put a plan in place.
- Build short breaks into your workday. These can be as simple as taking a brief walk outside the building, or doing a few yoga stretches. You can set your computer to remind you to pause every hour or so.
- Eat lunch and avoid multi-tasking during lunchtime! A high percentage of workers skips lunch or continues with work while eating. This behavior neglects a basic physical need that can lead to fatigue and lack of focus.
- Consistently eat your lunch away from your workspace. When your workday is long and uninterrupted, you are more likely to feel bombarded by stress and less likely to be at the top of your game.
- Incorporate a change of scenery into your workday and get out into nature for a few minutes. It just might change your mood or even inspire you!
- Breathe. Research shows that conscious breathing increases blood circulation throughout the body, including the brain—an important benefit when you are trying to solve a problem or deal with stress.

Imagine that you have no other place to be for an entire day and you find yourself in the most fantastic of all bookstores. Books and magazines artfully displayed on any topic imaginable, along with cozy chairs and a well-stocked café, are at your disposal. Take a moment and give in to this fantasy, then step back and notice where you go and what you do.

Are you wandering from aisle to aisle to see what catches your eye, or do you immediately seek out that one particular section that gets your heart pumping at the thought of it? Is it understood that you'd be lured in by biographies, or another topic such as home repair, health, art history, gardening, sports trivia or mysteries? Perhaps your passion for cooking has you hovering over the latest tips on grilling or studying the array of food lovers' guides to Paris.

Take a moment to picture yourself in the midst of such resources with no one dictating what or where you have to be. Where do you naturally gravitate and what holds your attention?

…Now consider your life beyond the bookstore and the topics of interest you sought out during your day there. In any given week, how often do you make time for these interests? Is that amount of time adequate? If not, how much more time would you like? Is there a particular interest you would like to pursue, but have not made the time?

It's common for me to ask my clients about their life and pursuits outside of work. While some people do turn hobbies into moneymaking endeavors, they are not the norm. And typically, I am not fishing for a new career direction from their list of leisure time activities.

Rather, my question has more to do with whether or not they are involved in activities that truly engage them. When a person's life lacks meaning, they might think that a new job or a career transition will fill the void that may have more to do with life outside of work. In that case, they may have named the wrong culprit and that could confuse and delay the career planning process.

The antidote: Live a full life that includes activities in which you can wholeheartedly engage. Hopefully, your work will present many of those opportunities. But, after all, unless your work IS the fantasy bookstore, it will always have its limitations that must be addressed by other pursuits.

If you're looking for employment, I imagine that you've tried to do all the right things in the job search process:

A. You think about what you want for your next job, prepare your professional documents that include a resume and cover letter tailored to the prospective job, reference letters and, if appropriate, samples of your work.
B. If you've read any research on how people secure jobs, you've also assembled a list of contacts and have thought about the best way to approach each person for informational interviews.
C. Once you learn about a job prospect through any of the most common avenues such as networking, classified ads, on-line search engines or company website postings, you follow the recommended directions for applying and take action within stated timeframes.
D. Then you wait for some type of response.

If more time has passed than you'd like, you might get discouraged or make up stories about why you are not being contacted for an interview. If you've had issues with self confidence or self esteem, this waiting period can bring up these old demons you thought you'd put to rest long ago.

Fears of never finding a job may cause you to abandon the quest for what you truly want for anything that generates a paycheck. Be brave and disciplined enough to review the details of your financial reality and determine how long you can wait before moving to an alternate plan.

There can be several "waiting periods" during any job search. One might occur after submitting your application and resume, after your first interview, and still another once you've been told you are a finalist or the "chosen one". Prior to any waiting period, you may be given a specific timeframe by which you will hear about your status in the search process. This date may come and go without a word since there is frequently a lack of follow through on the part of prospective employers.

Since you cannot control how applications are handled on the employer's end, here are suggestions on what you can do when you are kept waiting for answers at various stages of your job search:

1. Don't jump to conclusions or take the lack of response personally.
2. Make sure you've met all of the application requirements.
3. Call the employer to confirm receipt of your materials.
4. At the end of an interview, ask when you might hear from them about the search process.
5. If you have not heard from the employer one week after the stated date has passed, call for information.
6. If you have been told that you are a top candidate and that you will be notified for a final interview, ask when that might happen. If that date passes, call after a couple of days to inquire about setting up an interview time.
7. Keep in mind the facts of any situation as you plan your action steps to get the information you need. Do not make assumptions about why you have not been contacted. Let this be the mystery that it is rather than conjuring up bad news that may not be true.
8. As you apply for any job, consider how you are treated in the hiring process.
9. Decide whether or not you want to work for a company by taking into account its degree of professionalism, follow through, and priority on communication.

If you can relate to the question, then chances are you feel a bit lost, like you are spinning your wheels and going nowhere. You're probably keenly aware of people who have job titles and professions you wouldn't mind mentioning at parties, or former classmates who seemed to have defined their career niche years ago.

All of this comparing is depressing and makes you wonder if you'll ever catch up to the place you believe you should be on your career path.

Even though you may feel rather hopeless at this point because you don't know how to turn things around, it can actually be a pivotal time. It's often when you reach a low point where life seems to slow down enough that you can actually begin to negotiate a turn for the better.

Here are several practical steps to get on track in establishing a focus and career direction:

1. Recognize there is truth to the cliché "there is no time like the present", and trust the timing of how your life is unfolding.
2. Let go of regrets about what you have not accomplished to date. While this may be easier said than done, begin by deliberately shifting your attention from those thoughts that make you feel inferior to those that are more uplifting.
3. Make time in your life for reflection and for addressing questions about what you want. Schedule a few hours each week to write in a journal, delve into a career related workbook, or read an inspirational book about finding your life's work. A few of my favorites include: Work With Passion by Nancy Anderson, I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was by Barbara Sher, The Pathfinder by Nicholas Lore, Callings by Greg Levoy, and Crossing the Unknown Sea: Work As A Pilgrimage Of Identity, by poet David Whyte.
4. Identify a couple of jobs/careers that are of interest to you. Think about the connection they have with who you are and what you value at this time. Pick one to investigate. Jot down your assumptions and questions about it.
5. Interview at least three people who do this work so you become more informed and clear about this option. After the interviews, decide if it you are still interested. If so, take another step and determine the best way to become qualified or to apply for this position.
6. Congratulate yourself! You now have a direction!

-•-•-•-•-•-

Where Barbara is presenting next:
•Women Supporting Women, a free event of the The Maine Women's Fund
February 6, The Woodlands Club, 7-9pm. Come hear about work and life balance and unleashing your investment Goddess!

•Maine Association of Personality Type
Using the MBTI in career counseling featuring Barbara Babkirk and Amy Jaffe
Free, Tuesday, February 27, 6:30-8:30pm, Falmouth Library

•Yarmouth Wellness Fair, sponsored by the Yarmouth Chamber of Commerce Saturday, March 3, 10-3pm, Yarmouth High School

•Hardy Girls, Healthy Women Conference
Saturday, March 24, Fairfield, KVCC