You are not alone if you have too much to do, competing demands, relationship conflicts and financial worries that keep you up at night.

When you are dealing with several issues at once, it can be overwhelming.
As someone recently described her situation to me: "It's like I'm going through the motions of my life and I'm not in control of any of it."

At that point, stress is more than a frustration or an annoyance—it's a danger to your health and well-being. With all of the available articles and published research on that topic, you probably already knew that. Yet, you may feel helpless to change because you are caught up in a non-stop cycle of activity.

One of the key issues causing stress is a misalignment between priorities and actions. For example, you may believe that your family is your highest priority, yet you consistently miss important events or celebrations in favor of work. Or, you may state that your health is very important, but have not scheduled an annual physical or taken action to reduce your blood pressure.

Since there are many factors that contribute to stress that are out of your control, it's useful to focus on something on which you can take action. Knowing that you are not living true to your highest priorities is stressful, and you can change that. Try not to be critical of yourself as you recognize where some things are out of line. Here's how you might begin:

1. List the highest four priorities in your life.
2. Rate yourself from 1-5 on how closely your life reflects these (i.e. Are you walking your talk?)
3. Pick one priority that is out of alignment (rated 1-3).
4. Identify one small step you can take within the next two weeks to make this priority more prominent in your life. Do not underestimate the power of any step in shifting the whole pattern. The point is to begin the change.
5. Repeat the exercise every 3 months or sooner.

Be careful not to make up negative stories about what might happen if you make these changes. If there are several areas of out alignment, check in with yourself and let you heart tell you where to start.

Heart At Work Career Workshops
offered by Amy Jaffe, MA:
Effective Resumes
Job Search Strategy
Advanced Interviewing
Informational Interviewing

Weeknights and Saturday mornings-$30 each
261 Main Street - Yarmouth
Call Amy for details: 207-846-0644
or email: amy@heartatwork.biz

1. Shift Your Catastrophic Thinking and Expect Good Things.
Waiting for an outcome is difficult. It’s the in-between time that has you conjure up “what if” scenarios that serve no purpose at all. You may think you need to plan out all possibilities in order to be prepared for anything—an impossible task when you really consider it. Plus, in trying to cover all the bases, you’re likely to imagine only negative possibilities that raise your anxiety and add more stress to your situation.

Why not ponder and expect the outcome you truly desire rather than some result you dread? This shift only requires awareness of your thoughts and the ability to clearly identify your true goal. It may take several attempts to shift your thought pattern from negative outcomes to those that truly reflect your goal, but you should notice an immediate feeling of relief when you imagine a positive, rather than a negative expectation.

2. Focus Time and Attention on Things You Can Control.
Be efficient and avoid wasting energy on trying to change people or things beyond your scope of control. When you focus on your own thoughts and behaviors and consider what you can do to move closer to your goals, you are assured of better success.

3. Let Go of When and How You Might Achieve Your Goal.
Typically, there’s an element of surrender in the process of achieving a certain outcome or desired goal. While you might like to predict the process from beginning to end, it’s just not possible since most outcomes involve other people and events—all of which have their own timeframes. Keep your focus on what it is you want, rather than on when or exactly how you’ll achieve it and be open to possibilities you had not imagined.

Heart At Work Career Workshops
offered by Amy Jaffe, MA:
Effective Resumes
Job Search Strategy
Advanced Interviewing
Informational Interviewing

Weeknights and Saturday mornings-$30 each
261 Main Street - Yarmouth
Call Amy for details: 207-846-0644
or email: amy@heartatwork.biz

I could reinvent myself in France. As I mentioned a blog or so ago, it would be impossible to make a living in France as a career counselor since the French are not particularly accustomed to changing jobs, let alone career paths.

But, since they do enjoy food, its preparation and presentation, there's a related job change just waiting for this bi-lingual American. While I don't plan to put my limited culinary talents to the test in the land of great chefs, I could imagine touring the country's vast array of restaurants on the lookout for menus in need of accurate English translations.

Here are a few examples of well intentioned, yet off the mark translations I noticed on French menus this year during my vacation and annual women's retreat in Provence to the south of France:

As I consider this idea for a total career makeover, I realize two essential elements for a successful career change are missing:

1. Is there a marketplace gap or identified need for this service?
Sadly, I think not. From what I've seen, the French are not at all concerned about whether or not they correctly translate their menus. I can imagine being met with a typical shrug of the shoulders if I even pointed out the errors. The idea of trying to sell a menu translation correction service is beyond my wildest imagination.

2. Do I know enough about what I'd be getting into in such an endeavor? After hearing about the entanglement of red tape involved in establishing a business in France, I imagine that it would be difficult to accurately create a business plan.

In any case, it was fun to ponder the idea. Sometimes, all you need to do is take an idea seriously enough to believe you could actually do it and then see what happens. In my case, I felt relieved to be returning to my current profession and not trying to invent a new one even if it did combine food and a land I so love.

_ _ _ _ _

Heart At Work Career Workshops
offered by Amy Jaffe, MA:
Effective Resumes
Job Search Strategy
Advanced Interviewing
Informational Interviewing

Weeknights and Saturday mornings-$30 each
Falmouth Library
Call Amy for details: 207-846-0644
or email: amy@heartatwork.biz

The eighth Provence retreat has just ended and I'm pleased to say that this year's was a remarkable experience. I was delighted by all of the women participants and found that they taught me a few things that I'd like to pass on to you in my blog. I'll do this by sharing vignettes from the week (with names changed) in which one of the actions is highlighted.

#1: Let go of your expectations and go with the flow of what presents itself.
Carol arrived in Nice a few days early to get acclimated to the time change and cultural shift. I wish that the concierge at her hotel had been reading David Lee's blog on customer service because he was far from congenial or welcoming. Her images of the first days in France were shattered by the lack of attention and rudeness she experienced. Carol actually thought of going home, but decided to stick it out and see what else the week might bring. At the end of her stay, she felt proud that she had persisted and felt that her stay in France exceeded her expectations.

# 2: Remember to smile often and find something positive in whatever happens throughout the day.
After two decades traveling to the south of France, I know that September in Provence is typically sunny with a slight breeze. That said, I was not prepared for the inclement weather that abruptly swept into the area during the middle of the retreat week. "Le mistral", as the French refer to a nasty, strong and cold north wind, came with a vengeance. Along with it came a soaking rain after 6 months of drought.

I was concerned that my visitors, who had already enjoyed a few days of typical Provence sun, would be disappointed about the gray rainy skies and nip in the air. But, I was wrong. Not only did each woman take the weather in stride with a smile, but also expressed appreciation for an alternative plan for the day.

#3: Be open to new and different insights about yourself and your life journey, even if you do not at first fully understand them.
There's something rather magical about the south of France that elicits one's inner knowing rather quickly and profoundly. While some women have preferred to stick with their initial ideas for a focus for the week, this year's group considered new insights and directions to pursue as they came up. Each was amazed by the shifts in awareness made by being willing to stay open even when the significance of the new direction was not immediately understood.

# 4: Seize moments of silence and stillness to listen to yourself and your inner knowing.
There's much to see and do here in Provence, only 15 minutes from the Riviera and the Mediterranean Sea. Yet, this week is advertised as a retreat with intentional time for reflection and stillness. To recognize the introspective part of the week, I gift each woman with a hand-decorated journal upon arrival. Whether or not each woman takes the time to write in her journal is her choice. Jayne, in particular, touched me by her vigilance to writing—something she had not seriously done before. Each day, she'd tell me how she was awakened the night before from her sleep by the need to write her thoughts and feelings. Rather than dismiss this call and return to sleep, Jayne would open her journal and fill the pages until she was ready to sleep again.

While I believe that beautiful environments and a shift in daily routines can change your experience of life, it is not necessary to visit an exotic place to realize these effects. Perhaps you can enjoy some of the benefits of a retreat by keeping the four actions in mind as you live your life.