My last blog was about moving from indecision to action. Perhaps it's time for you to put these ideas to the test.
Are you ready for the change you've pondered for the past year? If so, then it's essential for you to clarify what you want: A new job with the same employer? A different company? A totally new career path that might require further education? Want to identify your options and then decide what to do?
No matter what your goal is, you can build momentum by taking one step at a time. Since you are aware of the ripple effect, be careful not to underestimate the importance of any effort you make.
Here are a few tips that might help you stay on track with your career goal for the New Year:
Stay in the present about what steps to take. If you start to feel overwhelmed, you are probably too far ahead in the process than you need to be.
Identify a step that is possible to achieve within two weeks. Set a time by which you will have completed it.
Tell a trusted friend or relative about your goal and the steps and ask them to help you stay accountable to them.
Continue the process, one step at a time, until you achieve the results you want.
Does this sound too simple? Perhaps you expect the process of making a career change to be difficult or complicated. If that's true, you can imagine how your assumptions are influencing your behavior.
What if your plan fell into place easily as you moved forward with your steps? Why not try these tips for two months? I'd love to hear about your results.
Is there a work-related decision that keeps nagging you? Do you feel stuck and not sure why you are unable to take the necessary steps to get off the dime?
Not a work week goes by that I don't hear clients describe some type of indecision that keeps them up at night or plagues them during the day. Indecision occurs for many reasons, with the most common linked to stress or fear.
When you are overly stressed, you might experience an array of physiological and emotional effects. From confusion, constant worry or a racing mind, to feeling overwhelmed, apathetic and helpless, the impact of stress directly impedes your ability to make decisions or focus clearly on difficult matters that demand your attention.
Just when you think stress must be the culprit in your indecisiveness, you might also consider how fear plays a part. Fear, as a co-conspirator in indecision, has you obsess about worst case scenarios associated with your decision that reflect all that you don't want to happen. Fear grabs your attention, and sets up a physical and emotional response of fight or flight, as though what you were imagining was actually true.
With stress and fear at work, it's next to impossible to think clearly enough to resolve difficult issues.
Your way out of indecision may not be to face into the issue, but to look in another direction and lessen the factors that are setting up barriers. For example, you might engage in a simple activity that has a calming effect on you, or one that takes you out of your day to day responsibilities, even for an hour or two. A walk in nature can immediately help restore balance by reducing stress.
When fear controls your thoughts, you are caught up in a future scenario that has not yet happened and you respond as though it was your current reality. Recognizing this phenomenon at work is the first step to gaining control over your fear. It's important to breathe deeply as you begin to refocus your thoughts on the outcome you want.
It may take discipline to resist the overactivity that leads to stress or those worrisome ideas that keep you in fear. But, the satisfaction from making a decision should make the effort all worthwhile.
Whether you're hearing from a colleague who has just received a disappointing performance review, a prospective client who voices her frustration about the economy, or your boss who is frustrated by the lack of participation at staff meetings, you do not need to resolve the issue they're describing to you.
But, if you are like most people, you jump right in with ideas on how to respond or strategize for better results when someone talks to you about a troubling situation. This reactive approach is your first instinct and from a desire to make the person feel better or to improve his or her situation. Even though your heart may be in the right place, you are guessing at what he or she needs, and not actually hearing the full story. Furthermore, you probably spend much of the time someone is speaking to you planning what you'll say in response.
It's is estimated that the adult attention span is about 22 seconds before they are distracted to something else and that we hear only 50% of what is spoken to us and retain only 20% of that for any length of time. What we accurately understand from what is said to us is a paltry percentage of what is said. So, there's much room for improved communication through real listening.
Here are several tips on listening that may make an important difference in how you communicate from now on.
1. Give your full attention to the person who is speaking.
2. Look at the person's face and avoid any distractions. If your mind begins to wander, shift the position of your body and try to concentrate on the speaker's words.
3. Dont interrupt the speaker before she or he finishes.
4. Listen for main ideas and the feelings the speaker is communicating.
5. When the person is done speaking, tell him or her what you understood.
6. Ask questions if you need clarification. For example, you might say, "When you said that you've had it with your job, did you mean you want to quit?
7. Begin to understand that true listening in and of itself is often all you need to do.
I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. --Robert McCloskey
To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation. --Chinese Proverb
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Saturday morning, December 13 - $30
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or email: amy@heartatwork.biz
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