What? A break? Oh, like a couple of days to do a project or two around the house, get caught up on medical appointments or have lunch with a friend before delving into the next job?

If that's your concept of a "break between jobs", perhaps you'll consider a different plan.

Those of you who have read my blogs know that I am a proponent of time off as a way to renew energy, reduce stress and increase productivity. The fact is, Americans work too much. Unlike Europeans, we "live to work", rather than the other way around. Our fevered pace of life and work has us stretched to the max with all of the emotional and physical consequences that accompany a stressful life.

Given our frenetic lifestyles, it's a minor miracle that anyone finds the time in his or her busy life to look for a new job, let alone determine a new career path. To complicate matters, if your job is stressful, or you are among the numbers of Americans experiencing burnout, you have even less energy to devote to a transition.

While some career counselors advise against leaving a job before having another lined up, that is not my view. At times it's not only a good idea, but also essential to a person's wellbeing and ability to envision new options to take time off between jobs—even without another in sight.

Allowing yourself the rest you need and time for activities that renew your spirit can restore your energy and help with clarity and focus in your job search. Conversely, pushing yourself to move forward from a place of weariness or exhaustion is likely to further cloud your thinking and hinder your process.

I realize that taking time off is not an option for everyone. But, if you can find a way to manage it financially, why not consider the idea of time off and create an intentional transition to your next job?

One space remaining! Women's retreat in southern France, led by Barbara for the eighth year. For info, application form and photos go to: www.yourprovenceretreat.com.

I just read an article in the latest issue of Spirituality and Health magazine entitled "How Stress Shrinks Your Brain." Since stress seems analogous to life these days, the article got my attention. The bad news presented in the article is that prolonged stress changes the way the brain looks and functions. The good news is that the damage is reversible with any number of interventions that diminish resulting anxiety such as cognitive therapy, medication, exercise and meditation.

The article brought to mind a friend who, as a senior manager, has what some might consider a stressful job, but who rarely seems stressed. After a brief discussion about how he spends his time at work, I had an idea about what helps him avoid the all-too-common stress reactions.

First of all, Tom, as I'll refer to him, has a home office. While his schedule requires travel to meetings with a variety of people during the week, Tom spends at least two days out of five working alone at home. During these days, he can focus on his writing and considerable correspondence without interruptions, take necessary stretch breaks that incorporate deep breathing and eat his lunch on the terrace in the company of chickadees and cardinals.

In other words, Tom's workday at his home office is balanced by connections with nature and attention to his physical and intellectual needs. When he shifts gears to attend meetings at conventional offices, he is in good shape to effectively manage the predictable array of issues or attend to staff members who need his immediate input, without getting caught up in any particular drama or crisis.

Though he admits it was not intentional, Tom seems to have discovered several effective ways to avoid work stress. While most of us cannot structure our workdays like Tom's, we can all incorporate some of the useful strategies inherent in his situation. I've listed several simple tips from his story that may help anyone better manage or even ward off stress at work:

- Recognize what you personally need in order to work optimally (e.g. uninterrupted moments each day, contact with people on a regular basis, time to attend to physical needs).
- Review your daily schedule to determine how your needs can be addressed and put a plan in place.
- Build short breaks into your workday. These can be as simple as taking a brief walk outside the building, or doing a few yoga stretches. You can set your computer to remind you to pause every hour or so.
- Eat lunch and avoid multi-tasking during lunchtime! A high percentage of workers skips lunch or continues with work while eating. This behavior neglects a basic physical need that can lead to fatigue and lack of focus.
- Consistently eat your lunch away from your workspace. When your workday is long and uninterrupted, you are more likely to feel bombarded by stress and less likely to be at the top of your game.
- Incorporate a change of scenery into your workday and get out into nature for a few minutes. It just might change your mood or even inspire you!
- Breathe. Research shows that conscious breathing increases blood circulation throughout the body, including the brain—an important benefit when you are trying to solve a problem or deal with stress.

Our culture has rituals to mark important life passages: graduations, birthdays, weddings, anniversaries and deaths, to name a few. As we commemorate these passages, we may also use the occasion to reflect on our lives. But what else prompts us to take stock and think about life when there is not an event to celebrate or recognize?

Sometimes it's a nagging sense that we should be doing something else, an increasing frustration with our current reality, or even an unexpected opportunity that get our attention. These feelings or situations can nudge and even inspire us to look beyond our status quo and imagine possibilities for our future.

It's arguably easier to ignore the prompts that come with far less fanfare than a wedding gala or retirement party. But, sometimes it is those subtler cues that arrive in a whisper and contrast enough with the rest of our lives to make us notice. Having diverted our attention, these cues remind us of what is most pressing in our lives. In further contrast with how we typically receive information from the outside in, these prompts come from deep within us and invite us to participate in our own process of discovery. Their message is simple and complete: Slow down, listen and reflect. The results may surprise you or even change the course of your life.

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Where Barbara is presenting next:
•Women Supporting Women, a free event of the The Maine Women's Fund
February 6, The Woodlands Club, 7-9pm. Come hear about work and life balance and unleashing your investment Goddess!

•Maine Association of Personality Type
Using the MBTI in career counseling featuring Barbara Babkirk and Amy Jaffe
Free, Tuesday, February 27, 6:30-8:30pm, Falmouth Library

•Yarmouth Wellness Fair, sponsored by the Yarmouth Chamber of Commerce Saturday, March 3, 10-3pm, Yarmouth High School

•Hardy Girls, Healthy Women Conference
Saturday, March 24, Fairfield, KVCC

Provence Journal #3

...In keeping with the motto that I've adopted since I began my Provence retreats, I'm challenged once again on this trip to "let go". As someone who enjoys trying to be in control, I'm not fond of this task, but I've learned that it's part of life's adventures.

First, three days of rain put a damper on plans to show friends the sites and open air markets, then a more serious situation arose with the sudden death of the patriarch of our French friends. Since Michel's death last Saturday, our plans have fallen to the wayside as we opened our hearts and our schedules to the grieving family.

Life always slows down when I am here in Provence, and the leisurely pace is even more pronounced this year with the calm and somber visits with our friends.

I've noticed that I'm more in the moment and am enjoying even the smallest of things like the way the sun hits the ocre colored buildings at sunset. Last night, instead of heading into Nice where there is always something happening along the Promenade des Anglais, I opted to stay put and prepare my welcome gifts for the retreat women who arrive on Saturday.

My friend's daughter, Sylvie, who lives next door came by with a huge basket of lavender she had harvested from the garden. She asked if I'd like to make some bouquets. For a couple of hours, I trimmed the fragrant stems into small bunches tied with raffia from her yard. In midst of it all, I could not have imagined anything more pleasing to do. When the gifts were completed, my entryway smelled heavenly and I felt full of gratitude for this simple, yet engaging activity.

I've attached a photo of me with my project. It will serve as a reminder to me of the wonderful surprises that come from giving in to the moment and letting go of plans.

Some say the French live for their vacations. They spend several months contemplating and planning, then enjoying their time off; and finally they spend the month after talking about their adventures. In a country where everyone receives by law a minimum of six weeks paid leave per year, there's reason to ponder and plan for leisure time.

I wish I could say that Americans have the same attitude and verve for vacations, but we do not by a long shot. Even with vacation benefits averaging one-third the French, research now shows that we are not even taking the meager time off that we're allotted. In fact, some studies reveal that some Americans are actually losing vacation time because they are not using it within a year to two. The average number of consecutive days off that Americans take is a paltry three to four. In my mind, that's hardly time to do a few of the chores that have been waiting for a year and pack the suitcases, let alone provide anyone with a respite from work and daily demands.

After a busy summer tourist season in the South of France, it is common at this time of year to see signs in local shops that say: "Fermeture Annuelle", or "Annual Closing" along with the date they'll reopen. While on one hand I may be disappointed that my favorite restaurant, wine cellar or pottery studio is not at my disposal, I am also glad to see that even the small business owners here succumb to several weeks of R&R.

Americans fall short of this curve as well, especially when it comes to entrepreneurs taking a well-deserved break from work. At U.S. conferences and seminars for small business owners, I see workshops and keynotes with titles like "work/life balance" and "having a life while you succeed in your business" included in the offerings to participants. While there may be an awareness of an "overdoing it" problem in our workplaces, there does not seem to be much of a change toward more moderated work patterns.

Stress-related symptoms account for 9 out of 10 visits to the doctor in our country. I think there is a connection here. I'm curious now about what physical maladies confront the French—perhaps the stress of reentry from a month in the country or at the seaside? But, then, they have so many details to recount that keep their memories alive for at least a month after their return to work…

That's what the ad said and it caught my eye. While I don't play golf, the thought of playing hooky was enticing. It's not that I don't enjoy my work or that I find it boring. Rather, it was the idea of breaking from routine and doing something unplanned and spontaneous that made me consider the gist of the ad's invitation.

With the hours many of us work and the long list of tasks to accomplish in any given day, spontaneity is often considered a luxury someone else might afford. I believe that there are dangers from our heavy workloads and the increasing hours we work per year that go beyond the stress of managing it all. I fear we also run the risk of becoming so narrowly focused on our work that we forget about other activities that give us joy and satisfaction and round out our lives. I can see that Celia (Virtually Organized) and I are on the same wavelength this week in our similarly-themed blogs.

Here are questions to help you look at your work/life balance as it relates to your leisure time: What would you do if you had an unplanned afternoon away from work? Does that question leave you clueless, or does one or many options easily pop into your mind? When was the last time you engaged in any activity that you enjoyed so much you lost track of time? If your answers slant toward "work and no play", you might want to consider a former hobby or activity you once enjoyed and fit it into your schedule in the next couple of weeks—if not spontaneous, planned will do.

It's not infrequent that I encourage a client to pursue an activity that appears to have nothing to do with their career goals or work transition. Because I like to have a sense of how work fits into the context of a person's whole life, I am interested to know what passions, interests or goals are not acted upon. If taken into consideration, they could either shed light on a new direction or improve the person's work/life balance that may be affecting their attitude toward their work. Sometimes, the activity is symbolic of a larger challenge. Take for example, the case of a woman client I saw several years ago. She had forever longed to take voice lessons, but for a variety of reasons, never got around to it. As she described her work issue, which involved her need to be more assertive with her subordinates, it became clear that the time was right to find her voice. She hired a voice coach and covered two issues at once. Her voice lessons were not only enjoyable, they gave her the confidence she needed to shift her communication style at work.

Doing what you love to do can be productive.

Some people like to talk about how busy they are. Take for example, the story of Julia Beck Bromberg in last month’s edition of Worthwhile Magazine, who has two kids, three companies, 14-hour days and a life that spans two cities. It made me dizzy to read about her frenetic life. Most of us do not aspire to a life like Julia’s—we’re just trying to do our jobs and have a life that matches our priorities. Nonetheless, work and life outside of work keep us out-straight. It’s no wonder that 70-80% of all visits to the doctor are for stress complaints or illnesses. I don’t see our work-related stress diminishing any time soon since Americans have just earned the dubious honor of working more than any other nation in the world.

It is no surprise that for the past five years, the topic I am most asked to speak about to organizations is how to gain a better balance in life. One solution I suggest is a set of steps—simple, but not necessarily easy. These steps include:
• Slow down your speech and your pace—it may help you think more clearly.
• Pay attention to your breathing. Inhale and exhale deeply throughout the day.
• Attend to one thing at a time—a practice that counters multi-tasking.
• Think of what you are grateful for on a daily basis.

Once you’re in a rut of trying to keep up with what you should have done yesterday, it’s difficult to switch gears and take things down a notch. From my own experience, if you try these steps each day for 3 weeks, your life will likely change. So, why not begin a new habit that may decrease those visits to the doctor and have you enjoying more in each day.